IF ELSE THEN

AS IF I should be grateful. AS IF I am a relentless bitch for asking, instead of someone else being an inconsiderate asshole for not responding. AS IF it is impossible for something to be done correctly. AS IF expecting that one might take a simple instruction (please do it this way) and comprehend it, instead of turning around not one fucking second after to ask me (so you want me to do it that way?) is unreasonable. AS IF actually listening and paying attention is giving the other person too much of your valuable time and energy. AS IF the fact that something is obviously and demonstrably not working matters at all when someone else says it's just fine. AS IF I have not been working so that others might have an easier time of things. AS IF I have asked for too much help. AS IF anyone has ever offered to give me a hand. AS IF I haven't suggested that at least a dozen times. AS IF we haven't been asking for that for years. AS IF you just had a great idea. AS IF it could really take that long to figure it out. AS IF I have kissed anyone's ass. AS IF I don't know what I'm doing. AS IF I'm doing this for my own good. AS IF I take pleasure in being disregarded. AS IF I enjoy having to ask again. AS IF I am asking for my benefit. AS IF there is anything else I can do. AS IF I could. AS IF I wanted to.