Having trouble breathing in...

Whew.  What a weekend...after two hot and summery river-filled days, I got home late last night and spent a couple hours on the phone rambling with an old friend before finally crawling into my deliciously comfortable bed, just as the rain came. I fell asleep within seconds of my head hitting the pillow, to the sound of a steady downpour outside the open window. I slept pretty hard for at least a few hours, and I swear it seemed to rain all night....One of my very favorite things. So nice. I think there may have even been some more thunder this morning, but my memory seems to be failing me...

A haze has settled over us here, with many square miles of smoke hanging heavy in the moist air, so thick it burns the throat. A nice breeze kicked up tonight and cleared things up a little, but it looks like it may be while longer before the fires die down or the winds change. It's not easy to breathe, and I feel the need to lie down. 

Before I do, I'd like also to mention one thing that crossed my mind today, because it seemed important at the time. I was thinking about some of my recent posts, and what they mean to me versus what they might say to anyone else. If you're reading this, you're likely already well aware that I tend to do much brooding here, and in some ways that's important and cathartic and what-not, and in other ways, it feels like I may be showing some disrespect, by not putting a better foot forward. Like a nicely pedicured foot in a comfy flip-flop, instead of a gnarly ingrown toenail in a heavy boot, if you see what I mean.

I've enjoyed so many blissful times, these past days and weeks and even years, and I am sorry that I don't get to read about many of them here. So, long to short, I'll try to accentuate some more of the good stuff here, as the summer goes on. Nothing but now.

There was one more thing. Maybe two.

One is--and actually this is the second thing, I'm really just trying to remember what the first one was--I don't exactly regret that I didn't do so but really wish I had been able to muster the nerve to impress myself and my ship-mates by braving the rope swing from the high bridge, because conditions were pretty ideal for it, and I feel as though it might have propelled me not only into the river but over some greater fear that has been standing in my way... or to put it another way, it would have set more than my body in motion, I think. Plus it would have been fun, exciting, and exhilarating, if ever so slightly risky... Ah well, the bridge still stands, and I'll be back--and swinging.

The rain pummeled the gardens last night; now all the flowers are doing push-ups and the dogwood is down for the count. The lovage is leaning, the comfrey needs cutting, the blackberries are becoming a hazard, no one's cut the mustards, and so many other things are just all over the place that it's starting to look like no one's taking care of things here. But... all the veggies look great, the beans are sky-high, calendula's blooming bright, there are peaches and plums and peapods and nothing needs watering... It's summertime, and it's been beautiful, and I'll breathe in every bit of it that I can.